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Sick, sick, sick… 

I think it’s strep - whatever it is, it’s bad enough I haven’t eaten for several days.  (And for me, that’s saying something!)  Sore throat, fever, body aches, extreme fatigue, no appetite, dehydrated, post-nasal drip,  inflammed sinuses, and I’m hacking up shit that looks like it could crawl away on its own…  And yet I continue to work.  I look like death warmed over. 

The response from my “sick for 10 minutes” patients really is pretty funny…  I can’t possibly imagine why I make them nervous!

Hmmm…  I’m going downhill in my old age.

I tell ya’ what - I think I have scarred the lining of my lungs, and am now trying to cough them up and out through my nostrils…  The other day before work I had time to color my hair.  While I was waiting I figured I’d kill 2 birds with one stone and clean the shower as well.  So I happily sprayed mildew remover in and got all my stuff out and ready to go. 

I started coughing, gagging, spitting, eyes watering (and squinching shut), snorting, gasping…  You get the general idea.  I figured I’d hop in the shower and let the spray rinse my face off and I’d feel better.  Well - I forgot that the new water heater gave HOT water, so the hot water hit the cleaner and I had a lovely fog of cleaner fumes meeting the hair color fumes.  Of course, the gagging got worse.  It took me at least 5 minutes to realize I forgot to open the freaking WINDOW for ventilation!

I jumped out of the shower, threw the window open, and stood there dripping wet with my face mushed against the screen.  I’m sure it had to be a lovely site…

So - fast forward to today.  I spent ALL day long in the basement.  I cleaned a portion the back half with bleach water (and it took forever to dry), and spent the rest of the time on the front half - painting 2 coats of primer on the paneling.  Talk about fumes!  I’ve started coughing, gagging, and sneezing again.  I think I’ve hacked up a portion of bases of my lungs…

And to tell you what a persistent idiot I can be; tomorrow I plan on cleaning another portion of the back half (with bleach water), and then painting the ceiling and the walls with at least 1 coat of paint, if not 2 coats…

My nose is running, throat is sore, I have a headache, and my lungs hurt.  I think I gave myself a good chemical burn while attempting to clean the primer off my hands!

Ouchie!

The incision on my shoulder had been healing well, until a few days before the sutures were due to come out.  It started swelling, becoming red around the incision line, increasing pain, and was becoming warm to touch.  I had the NP at work take a look at it and she agreed with me that I probably needed antibiotics.

So I call the doctor’s office (and lucky me - my doc and his nurse was out so I got to talk to the on-call doctor’s nurse) that did the procedure and explained to the nurse that the site was swelling, warm to touch, reddened, increasing pain, but I was afebrile (without fever), and there was no drainage; that I had someone from work look at it and they thought it needed antibiotics, and what would THIS doctor’s office like to do - call a script in, or have me come in so they could look at it and then give me a script?

Dead silence.  Then - “Well, do you want to come in and have us culture the area?

Man, it took everything in me to remain calm, polite, and quasi-professional…  I repeated the information, especially the fact that I was AFEBRILE and that there was NO DRAINAGE.  Then I asked, “What exactly would you be culturing if there is NO drainage?  I’d be happy to come in to be seen if that is what is needed, but why do a culture if there is nothing to culture?”

Dead silence.  Then, “Well, what do you want us to do?”

I rolled my eyes and gritted my teeth and wondered what the hell was wrong with this woman that she couldn’t put 2 and 2 together.  Any regular Joe-schmoe could figure out that if a wound starts to get red, warm to touch, and swelling ISN’T right.  And the fact that it was a surgical wound from where they had removed CANCER…

So I asked again would he prefer to call in a script for an antibiotic or would he like to see me and then GIVE me a script for an antibiotic.  Long story short - they called a script in for me for antibiotics, but nothing for pain AFTER I had explained I was taking 800 milligrams of Motrin three times a day and 650 milligrams of Tylenol every 4-6 hours.

I was amazed that they didn’t bother with anything for pain control…  So that made me think about the eye surgeon and him becoming pissy when I asked for something for pain and he gave me 4 tablets. 

You know - I’m an average citizen, not some hyped-up, tweaked-out, POS junky.  It just irked me that I was not properly managed for pain, when at work we give out scripts for pain medicine like candy to people that blatantly lie in order to get their fix.  Any dirt bag without a job, that abuse the EMS system, that’s able to get to the ER, that have NO reason for their “pain” and give Emmy-worthy performances for the “worst pain of their life, ever, for this hang nail” - gets their scripts, and out the door they skip.

I’m normal, and NOTHING.  I don’t get it.  I’m just saying…

I wanted to give a shout-out to my best friend’s son, Josh.

Happy 18th Birthday, Joshua!

Well, it’s Monday evening, 3-31-08.  Of the last 48 hours, I’ve slept approximately 44 hours.  I’ve been under a lot of stress (basement flooding,financial, et cetera), I’m healing from two surgical procedures, and I’ve been fighting the cold/flu bug that’s been floating around.

The kids have been coughing and hacking about a week or more…  I’m tired if messing with it.  I know the virus will eventually go away on its own, but it pisses me off that everyone and their brother tries to tell me they need antibiotics.  Uh, NO.  And when I tell you, “No, they don’t”, don’t come back at me with the I am an unconcerned parent shtick.  I do this crap for a living, so repeat after me, you morons…

“Antibiotics are only for bacterial infections, NOT viral infections.  There are NO cures for a virus.  It has to go away on its own, and you treat symptomatically.”  So kiss my lily-white ass!  Now that I’ve had to repeat that to you AD NASEUM, that will cost you at least $300.

But - I find myself pulling further and further away from society in general; almost making myself a shut-in.  So that makes me wonder if I’m just fed up with people in general, or if I’m trying to give myself time and space to heal, so I can continue to fight the good fight?

Self-preservation, or healing?

Oh the joy…

Can you sense the sarcasm there?  It’s all I can do to contain my general snottiness, and my overall level of pissy be-otchness on a daily basis anymore…  And I roll my eyes so much that they should have fallen out of my head by now, LOL!

Let’s see…  Where do I start?

The eye surgery went well enough, I suppose.  The eyes still aren’t pain free.  Most of the time now it feels like I have in a pair of contacts with grit caught underneath them, but I still get some really gnarly shooting pains every so often.  The vision is fantastic.  Right now the left eye is 20/20, and the right eye is 20/25 (and somewhat blurry) - but my vision can continue to fluctuate for some time.  It’s so weird that I’m driving around without glasses; and reading, and watching tv…  I see better now than I did when I had glasses!

As for what’s really got me into my royal pissy be-otchiness:

A week ago (on Tuesday) we had a LOT of rain in the Tri-State area.  That night at work I got a call from my mother that the basement was flooding.  I was thinking, “What the frig can I do about it from the emergency room?”  Looking back, I think she was trying to PREPARE me.  We ended up with approximately a foot of water in the basement due to a “mechanical failure of the sump pump”.

The home warranty covered the cost of replacing the sump pump but would not cover the water damage.  OK.  No big deal, that’s why we have insurance right?  WRONG!  They are refusing to cover the claim.  It’s not because it’s “flood damage” - it’s because, “There is a new policy rider we have now that covers sewage backup and you don’t have it, so too bad.  It’s not our problem.”

Excuse me?  New rider we don’t have?  They’ve offered every other blatantly ridiculous and asinine thing imaginable but not once did they EVER attempt to send a offer letter, offer e-mail, or a frigging telephone call to offer this “new” rider.  After I went off on a very loud, long, and RUDE tangent, I got the same response.  “Too bad, it’s not our problem.”

Don’t use State Farm, the ratbastards!

So - we lost everything in the basement.  Storage stuff, water heater, furnace, washer & dryer, deep freeze with loads of food, middle son’s bedroom, carpeting, paneling, drywall, sitting room furniture, our “library”…  There were several people in the area with the same problem, and more than a few of them had spent some massive amounts of money to “update” their basements into nice theater areas…  All their claims were denied as well!

Oh well…  It can all be replaced (eventually).

So - I went to the doctor’s office Monday morning for a minor surgical procedure to have the cancer removed - and I think he went digging and ended up in freaking China!  Went deeper than they thought and he had to remove more than he thought he would.  I told him to keep going and get it all, that I could give a rat’s ass about scars…  My shoulder is held together by steri-strips and suture material that resembles barb wire, ROFLOL!  I went to work that night feeling like I had hot pokers shoved into my shoulder.  It’s Friday morning and I’m still having trouble moving that shoulder.  Praise the Lord that I didn’t have to do CPR or haul anyone out of a car this week!

So - due to the buildup of many things the financial picture is dire (then why the eye surgery?  It will benefit my career in the long run - make it easier it get into certain fields, thereby INCREASING income).  I had one particularly smarmy creditor call me at work the other night (when they have the home and cell phone numbers and have been asked to never call me at work because it could be putting a patient’s life at risk by leaving their bedside), and the conversation went like this:

• overhead page in ER: “Andrea line 4, Andrea line 4″
• (I haul buns out of patient room thinking it was CT and they would be asking patient info and telling me I could bring my stroke patient over)
• Me, “This is Andrea, which patient is this in regards to?”
• Smarmy Jerk, “This is Smarmy jerk, how you doing tonight?”
• Me, “Which patient is this about?”
• S.J., “This is SJ, how are you doing?”
• Me (getting pissy and wanting to go back to patient), “Who IS this?”
• S.J., “This is SJ, how are you?”
• Me (pissy sounding),”Who is this and what patient is this about?”
• SJ, “This is SJ.”
• Me (rudely), “I’m sorry???”
• SJ, “No need to apologize.  This is SJ, are you married to KH?”
• Me, “No.  And who I am or am not married to is none of your damn business.  Unless this is about a patient you need to leave me alone.”
• SJ (attempting to get manipulative with me), “Well were you ever married to KH because I’m with Smarmy Jerk Company and we need to get this matter taken care of and he… ah… gave me this alternative number to reach you.”
• Me (laughing), “Call Kuwait much, do you?  When you lie, try to make it believeable.”  Then professionally, “Do not call me here unless this is an emergency…”
• SJ (interrupting my forthcoming tantrum about emergencies), “Oh but ma’am, this is a CREDIT emergency!”
• Me (pissed), “You called an EMERGENCY ROOM - unless you are calling about a patient the only other reason I want to hear any words coming out of your mouth is a true emergency to LIFE, LIMB, or VISION!”
• CLICK.  (And I stomped off to my patient.)

Great to know we have jerks in the world like this that think potentially putting a patient’s life at risk is worth the minimum wage they make to get a past due item settled…  Wonder what he would think if it was HIS loved one in the room and some moron (like him) calls his loved one’s nurse out of the room and blatantly unloads such stupidity?

I’m sure he had no clue that had my patient crashed and died while I was on the phone with him that the patient’s family could sue me and cause me to lose my license, thereby losing my job and INCOME, and he’d NEVER get any money then…

JACKASS.

Yesterday was an interesting ride…

I had the LASIK procedure done.  They tried giving me a total of 15 milligrams of Valium (an anti-anxiety med) to chill me out, but they were dumbfounded when I kept telling them it didn’t work.  All the other patients got 10 milligrams and were falling asleep in the waiting area, snoring.  And still I sat staring around and chatting it up with the circulating staff members.  I never did get sleepy at home either; no response to it period…  Makes me wonder why people are so dependent on that stuff!

I have to say - even though the doctor liberally poured numbing drops in my eyes, it still hurt like hell when they applied the suction rings and created the flaps.  It felt like they were shoving hot pokers into my eyeballs.  However, I did NOT feel a thing when the laser was reshaping my cornea.  That part was kind of cool!  When I got home, I did exactly what I was supposed to do - laid down and tried to take a nap.  I even took Tylenol (650 milligrams) and Motrin (800 milligrams) hoping that on top of the Valium I’d fall asleep (normally that much Motrin makes me pass right out), but no go.  I felt like I was having ice picks shoved right through my eyes.

So I called to ask about numbing drops and they put me right through to the doctor.  He didn’t seem as nice on the phone as he was in person.  I felt like I was annoying him by calling to complain about the pain.  I told him that the pain in no way compared to a kidney stone, and that I can manage my kidney stones with Motrin, so he was sort of huffy asking if I wanted a pain script called in, and when I said yes, he said to talk to the nurse to give my info.  I gave her the pharmacy I used and she told me what med I would be getting and how often to take it.  He was so generous that he called in a whole 4 tablets of Tylenol #3.

Fast forward to today.  The pain meds are gone (I was to take 1 pill every 2 to 3 hours, as needed).  My right eye no longer hurts, but the left one feels like there is a big piece of glass sticking out of the globe.  You can still see big, red, irritated areas on the sclera of the eye where the suction rings were.  But - the “haze” is gone and I can actually see.  It’s amazing that I can see the TV.  Heck, I can even see the floor!

Would I recommend this procedure to anyone else?  At the moment, no.  Ask me again in about 3-6 months and we’ll see if the answer changes.

So…  While I’m sitting at home, feeling sorry for myself, beating myself up for having this procedure done, I got a call from the dermatologist’s office.  The results of the biopsy were back (about a week sooner than I anticipated), and I needed to come in for treatment as soon as possible, because I have skin cancer.

Meh.

Yippy, Skippy.  What an exciting freaking day.

Well, the appointment for the LASIK consultation has not happened yet.  They called at the LAST minute canceling the appointment because of an “emergency” that person had.  So, they rescheduled me, and here’s the kicker - they got irritated that I couldn’t come in as soon as they wanted.  I was pissy (partially because I was still sleepy from working the night before and only having slept an hour or so) to say the least.

So, when the chick on the phone started getting snippy I cut her off and said, “Look woman - over the next 7 days, I work 6 of them, AND they are 12 hour night shifts.  And unlike you - my job, the safety of my patients depends on the fact that I get sleep.”  In hind-sight probably not the brightest thing to spout off since they *might* have the opportunity to mess with my eyesight, but it had been a LONG night.

Last night wasn’t too horrible at work though…  Slow.  But we were bracing for a winter storm watch with an expected 4-6 inches of snow.  I suppose no one wanted to get caught out in that.  Lucky us!  It’s nice to have a change of pace every once in awhile.  From 3 AM to 7 AM we had no patients.  However, the yucky stuff (the weather) started a couple hours before we got off.  Just in time for lucky me to go to a doctor’s appointment.

So I go driving off through the wintry weather, and it really wasn’t that bad.  The people were driving reasonably (shock, shock), and actually staying off the roads unless they needed to be out.  The streets weren’t that bad either, but there were a few slick spots.  I made it to the clinic OK, but the walk across the parking lot was the riskiest thing of all!

I had to have a spot removed from my left shoulder that I highly suspect is cancer.  And the doctor was nice, had his best “bedside manner” in place, but the look on his face when he saw the spot gave him away, LOL!  He looked me over and then said, “Well I really need to, I mean, I think I’ll go ahead and biopsy the spot”.  He also asked if I had been seeing my primary care doctor about this and I said, “No - I knew I needed to come straight to where I needed to be.”

Then I had the joy of trying to play it cool while he numbed up my shoulder.  OUCH!  When the lidocaine hit, it felt like he was shoving an ice-pick straight into my shoulder.  Then it FINALLY kicked in, so I tried to occupy my mind with anything other than the fact that he was cutting a chunk of flesh out of my shoulder with a razor blade.

So I came home and slept the rest of the day. 

The most exciting thing I did was watch 2 movies, “Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium”, and “3:10 to Yuma”.  I’ve said it several times over the last several months, and I’ll say it again, the movies that have been coming out lately SUCK.  I haven’t seen a really decent movie in a long time.  Is it too much to ask that they spend some of that freaking money from their titanic-sized budgets to get decent writers and decent scripts?  It doesn’t matter how awesome the actors are if the scripts are crappy.

Oh well…  I need to sleep a few hours because I really want to get up and find something FUN to do with the boys today.  Dinner is already in the slow cooker - so whether it’s playing in the snow, or going out and finding something DIFFERENT to do I want it to be fun.  It’s irritating to be stuck in the same old rut, day in and day out.

Here lately I’ve been tossing around the idea of having LASIK eye surgery done (for more information, click here: http://www.fda.gov/CDRH/LASIK/).  I’m so sick of wearing glasses, and I have a hard time getting decent fitting contacts.  And if I do manage to get a set of contacts with a decent fit, I don’t wear them to work comfortably (it’s just TOO dry of an environment).  Even if I could wear them comfortably, I don’t think I would - after all, I take care of all sorts of patients, and some of our patient population puts us at risk (yes, I know of a case where a nurse took care of a patient that had been in a meth lab explosion - the fumes literally melted her contacts onto her eyes, and now she is permanently and legally BLIND).

So - I’ve taken a step in that direction.  I’ve made an appointment with one of the local clinics for their “free consultation”.  I’ve done a fair amount of research, but it still makes me nervous.  I know the risks, I know that the odds are I’ll still need reading glasses - but wearing glasses only to read versus just to see the floor?

The though of people messing with my eyes though…  Ergh!  I guess it’s just a phobia from a crappy care provider that I had when I was fitted for my very 1st pair of contact lenses.  They were hard lenses, and she ground the edges very poorly.  One lens still had a jagged edge, and when she was trying to put them in my eyes, I freaked out because of the one that hurt so bad.  She kept trying to stick her fingers in my eyes and I kept freaking.  She started screaming…

Anyway - basically, she blew me off telling me that the first time you wore them, they hurt, yadda, yadda, yadda - how I was a big wimp and a big baby…  Needless to say 2 weeks of bitching (yes, I called every day to complain.  She kept telling me to keep the lenses in every day), with an eye that was swollen shut, with drainage, and INFECTION…  She finally caved in and had me come in.  She backtracked and said, “Oh…  You should have said something sooner.”

You think?

I know things have changed since the early-mid 80’s, but it is obviously a deep rooted phobia I have about people near my eyes.  For those of you that don’t know much about LASIK, here’s a neat little animation made from illustrations as to what the procedure is: http://www.fda.gov/CDRH/LASIK/animation/animation-play.html

I have a few questions still.  Do they own their own equipment, or is it leased - and if it’s leased, is the fee passed on to the patient?  If the procedure fee all-inclusive, covering follow up care or any meds needed?  What are the most common complaints that their patients have, and how are they treated?  I know that vision may fluctuate for up to 6 months, but if “re-treatment” is required, is that covered under the initial fee?  I know that some people have a cornea that is considered “too thin”, but how is this determined, and when - during the consultation or during the start of the procedure?  And if I do go ahead with this - will this eventually affect my decision to be an organ donor?

My appointment is tomorrow, and I feel nervous.  Just because I’m going for a consultation doesn’t mean that I will HAVE to have the procedure done there, or done at all, but the nervousness remains.